The Toss of a Coin
John Allan, PhD
"The Toss of a Coin"
Thomas was the most important man in my life-by a long shot! In 1963, at
the age of 22yrs, I was a battered psych grad student at San Jose State-
traumatized by the war in England, an absent father and 10 years, from
8-18yrs, in an English all boys boarding school.
Already by 1963, though a strange set of circumstances, I was interested in
the psychology of C.G. Jung and I was aware I needed help myself. In fact I
had been to the Student Counseling Services and had already gone through a
couple of therapists- I felt I knew more about life than them!
One day, sitting in a class of 15 grad students on Personality Theory, the
Prof announced that we would each have to write a paper on a major theorist.
He proceeded to write their names on the chalk board. I saw Jung's name and
immediately put up my hand...as did Olsen. "Sorry only one of you can do
Jung...psychology is about conflict resolution so why don't you two step
into the hallway and decide who will do Jung".
We stepped outside and after 10 minutes it was clear that neither of us was
willing to give up our positions. We went back in, told the Prof and he
said: "Right then, let's toss a coin". I called out "heads" and got to do
Jung.
At the end of class, the Prof pulled me aside and said "A friend of mine in
town is a Jungian Analyst and you may find it helpful to call him up and
interview him. I did... it was Dr Thomas Parker. After the interview I
decided he was the man I wanted to do therapy with.
Thomas was a gift to me-I felt seen, heard, loved, comforted and challenged.
I absorbed his warmth. At his suggestion I got a Dream Journal and wrote and
wrote. I started to have intense Visions. He suggested I paint them...I did
mostly in the evenings after work. I got a gift in a dream- it was a bath
mat! He suggested I meditate. I didn't-I bought a Yoga mat!
I asked him about Active Imagination. He suggested I get a group of friends
and meet in his office for 20 sessions. We did and we drew and painted our
images. He had an art room attached to his office...I thought all Jungians
had art rooms. I was wrong! I was 27yrs by then and ready to head back to
the UK, the University of London for my PhD and to continue my Jungian
Analysis there.
Thomas remained a friend for life...he helped me develop a rich outer and
internal life. When I tried to thank him for this he would say: " John, I
did nothing...you did it all yourself". OKOK...he "sat" with me...he
"witnessed" me while I "bared" my soul and he "nudged" me. He was a modest
man, a lovely man, a serious man, a fun man, a man curious about life,
meaning and the purpose of existence. He "worked" on himself. He helped me
grow and change for the better.
— John Allan, PhD